Why Donald Trump is totally awesome, and other scholarly observations
By Professor Patrick Slattery — Last year Donald Trump said he could shoot someone on Fifth Avenue and it wouldn’t hurt his support. Well, I can assure you it wouldn’t stop me from voting for him. There is too much at stake to let some mindless gun violence interfere with you better judgment.
That might seem kind of extreme, but Donald wouldn’t be the first major party nominee to shoot some guys head off for no good reason. Remember John Kerry? The Democrats nominated him in 2004. He’s our Secretary of State now. Our top diplomat.
While in Yale, he argued against our Vietnam policy, saying “It is the spectre of Western imperialism that causes more fear among Africans and Asians than communism and thus, it is self-defeating.” But after graduating, he decided to enlist anyway and then went off to Vietnam, chased some Vietnamese guy into the jungle and shot his head off.
Was it to make himself politically viable, as some have contended? I don’t know, but I do know that the dead Vietnamese guy had never messed with any of Kerry’s family or neighbors or Yale classmates. At least if the Donald shoots somebody on Fifth Avenue, he could claim to be defending his own neighborhood.
But the real issue is that we are on the brink of starting World War III because our Jewish elites are still mad that Putin kicked some Jewish criminal oligarchs out of Russia. Crazy as it seems, some of these Zio fanatics would be willing to risk annihilating humanity even before the fruition of their careful plans to destroy the European race through massive immigration.
And the only person who stands in their way is Donald Trump. So if it was okay for half the electorate to vote for John Kerry for no good reason and despite his history of serial face splattering, why should I have any qualms about voting for Trump should he decide to test his theory about the robustness of his support by snuffing a random passerby in Manhattan?
Especially when the alternative is Hillary Strangelove Clinton. You see, it’s not that she might have put a contract on Vince Foster or she illegally destroyed emails proving her malfeasance or turned the State Department into the fundraising division of the Clinton Foundation that bothers me about her. It’s her willingness to start a World War that could destroy civilization just because the Jews are mad that Putin (partially) stopped their genocidal fleecing of the Russian people that I find off-putting. And replacing white people everywhere with third world immigrants. That too.
I mean, if Hillary ONLY wanted to replace whites with immigrants and Trump was the one willing to destroy human civilization, then maybe I would look into the relative merits of the Trump University case to use as a tie-breaker.
But Trump is on the right side of the only two issues that matter. So why should I care about Trump University, or whether he insults people and hurts their feelings, or if he said he would date Ivanka if she wasn’t his daughter. As long as he stops World War III and doesn’t replace me with a Mexican, then I don’t care about anything else. That’s just science.
I used to think of Donald Trump as just an obnoxious sleazy businessman. But now I understand that he is an obnoxious sleazy businessman who is totally awesome because he is willing to risk his fortune and his very life to save civilization.
All aboard!
